Two things that you need to talk to your male partner about so he understands your female body better:
This was inspired by a conversation I had with the two men of the Meat Mafia Podcast:
1) Share about the seasons of your body. Male bodies experience a pretty linear hormonal experience. Talk about how each week is a different lived experience for you, depending on your hormones (that is, if you’re not on hormonal bc). Unless its fully laid out for them, the chaotic dynamic nature of the changes between the menstrual/ follicular/ovulatory/luteal phases remain a myster. Explain how libido, emotions, mood, and intimacy desires can vary from week to week.
2) Share about cervix, and how unless your body is fully aroused, deep physical penetration on their part can be painful, and lead to potential harm for the face of the cervix (ie bruising, micro-abrasions). Explain how physiological process of the body receiving the signals that penetration might happen to them MOVE THE UTERUS/CERVIX UP INTO THE VAGINAL CANAL in a safe position for penetration can take anywhere between 25-40 minutes of foreplay. Share that your desire and need for foreplay isn’t just because we’re ‘holding back’ but for the physical safety of our body.
These two pieces of information revolutionized the way my husband thought about and approached my body. He was able to recognize my cues, my emotions, my behaviors, and understand my communication better when he finally understood these things about my body.
If you don’t tell them, they won’t know.
So teach them!
Men need to know and understand about female pelvic and hormonal physiology, especially if they’re having sex with you.
This way, there’s NO mystery and they have a clear picture about what they’re working with. This sets the foundation for clear communication and understanding.
Truly, if WE were clueless about our bodies before we learned, imagine how clueless THEY are. Fill them in.
They deserve to know.
Ladies, if WE didn’t know these things, how can we expect THEM to know.
Please please please talk to the men in your life who love and are intimate with women about these things. It’s important!
And if you need some help with #2, one of the webinars in the Private Content Library is called ‘Foreplay Demystified’ which I designed and taught specifically for me.